Chronologic Pain

Teenaged Problems, Part One

According to the pie chart in my last post, time periods make up for more than 50% of my problems.
I think this needs clarification.

It's not the times themselves that trouble me - it's just what's happened/ing during them (obviously). I'm regretful of the past, unhappy with the present, and apprehensive of the future. This is not a very unique idea, I know; it's probably relatable for many, many people. I just wanted to address the fact that a lot of people are unhappy with their position in life, because to an individual, it may seem very isolating.

I figured that most people can break this down into three parts of past, present, and future.

The Past

According to Time magazine, we remember the bad things from our past more than the good things, because our brain attempts to store relevant information - especially that which we can use "to guide future behavior" (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1817329,00.html). So, with hindsight, we look back on the things that we find unpleasant, and then we constantly think about them. It's just our brain's way of making us grow from our past mistakes.

This, however, doesn't lessen the fact that we've made those mistakes in the first place - and that they inevitably have an effect now.

So, for me, I'm regretful of the past because I wasn't social enough.  I didn't do many team sports, I didn't hang out with friends very often, and I never tried to overcome my extreme shyness.  This might seem pretty trivial to some, and I couldn't disagree with that for many of you, but I'm aware that social anxiety is a huge problem for a lot of high-schoolers, including me.

The Present

Because I am socially anxious, and fearful of social situations, I'm really not living the high school experience and the kind of life that I would want for myself. Though I have plenty of friends at school, and get along with everyone as well, I'm a loner.  I'm too aloof to enjoy small talk with people or stand out in the classroom.  I first posted on this blog as my school's Jack of Hearts dance was in full swing. Essentially, I'm unhappy with being lonely.

I won't give you the cliche "what's past is past," because honestly, it isn't.  The past does affect us now, but all I can say is that we all have our problems, and we all have to deal with them.  Just remember that how you lived before does not have to restrict how you live now.  You don't have to be the same person you were years ago, nor do you have to refuse change.  It's okay to seek out new hobbies, new friends, and new experiences; you have control of your life.  No one else can truly tell you what to do, and you don't have to fear getting ostracized for your attempts to change your life independently of the past.  I know how daunting of an idea it is to change your life, but most people (including me) will cheer you on.

The Future

As a high-schooler - with one year left before I get sent off to college - the future is a pretty terrifying thing to me. As far as college goes, I constantly wonder, "will I fit in?" and generally, "how will I survive?" While I can't answer this for you or myself, it's important to keep in mind that even though our futures are affected by our past and present, they are not dictated by them.  Your life isn't set in stone, and it's up to you to determine your happiness later on.

This is all something that I can realize, but I'm still trying to accept it fully myself.

Although my advice is cliched, I feel that it's something many teens forget - or refuse to accept. I know that life is difficult for us, and that we might feel alone, helpless, and confused. All I can really tell you is this: although it won't solve all of your problems, take solace in the fact that there are many, many more out there like you, like me.  You aren't alone, despite the fact that others hide their problems as well as you do.